Doing It Yourself – Making a Different Choice

Who is the more accomplished person - the one who can “do it all,” or the one who gets it done through others?

While most of us would choose the latter in a hypothetical vacuum, how often do you make the former choice for yourself in your day-to-day life? My experience as a coach says that many of us wrestle with this on an ongoing basis. This month’s article focuses on the questions we ask
ourselves, and how to shift those questions to make a different choice when appropriate.

Most people who seek coaching have already figured out that getting some outside support can leverage their time and energy. But I have also worked with clients who want to let go of doing it all themselves, but find themselves conflicted when taking concrete action beyond that of hiring a
coach. Why?

Here are some of the questions “do it yourself-ers” often ask themselves:

• I can handle it, can’t I? Shouldn’t I be able to?
• Would anyone else really be able to do this better than me? Will I lose control of quality?
• If I have help in accomplishing something, doesn’t it detract from my accomplishment?
• If I can’t do it myself, am I incompetent?
• Will it take too much time and effort to explain it to someone else?
• Will the cost be too high (in dollars, quality or ego)?

1. The answers you feed yourself may or may not be true (you may, in fact lose some quality), but the real question is, how well are they serving you? Even if you are able to accomplish a great quantity of tasks through your singular efforts, are the tasks most important to you getting the best of your time and energy?
2. For example, if you’re a salesperson and are able to juggle keeping a good stable of clients reasonably happy, have a decent marriage or partner relationship, and keep the administrative tasks of running your business down to a dull roar, is that success? To many, it might be. Is it enough for you? Here are some alternative questions that might shift that perspective:
3. If I don’t try to do (this task/everything) myself, what else might I be able to accomplish?
4. Might people possibly respect me more if I know how to tap resources than if I tough it out alone?
5. If do something with help that I really couldn’t do on my own, was I quite smart, as opposed to "not good enough"?
6. What would be worth my trading off some control for? (more social time, not having to deal with tasks I don’t like, getting more things done sooner)
7. How much pride have I been attached to in doing stuff myself?
8. Where have I been stuck that some help might spring me forward?

I have some clients who are masters at asking for help and at delegating. I really admire them. Being a “recovering do it yourself-er” myself, I can see the impact this quality has on their lives. If I were to nail down the one distinguishing characteristic these people possess, it’s that when assessing all the things on their plate, these people look around and ask, “how am I going to get all of this done?” And in looking around, they are looking at other people and resources; they have an expanded view of what’s possible for them and available to them. They are not locked into one solution, but are open to many alternatives. It’s a practical question of assigning resources to challenges.

Do it yourself-ers, on the other hand, easily go into overwhelm when assessing everything on their plate. Because their view of what’s available (themselves) is more limited, it takes very little (such as new project, or an illness) to make them feel as though there is no way to get everything done. Rather than expanding resources, the temptation is to limit what can get done.

As all of us have some things that we’re committed to doing ourselves, try doing even just one with some support this month. See what it frees up, and what it brings to you. Mine was realizing I needed some support in training my willful, testosterone-charged 9-month old puppy. I hired a private trainer to work with us, and it’s been incredibly empowering (and humbling to realize she’s better at it than me!) What’s your choice?

Cool Business For Sale

Bicycle touring in Alaska, anyone? A client of mine is interested in selling her bicycle touring business in Alaska. This operation is both profitable and fun! If you have an interest, contact Joyce Waldman at (970) 385-8674 or cycledog@frontier.net

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E-mail: ginger@magellangj.com
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