Expanding Life

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	Business and Life Coaching (970) 259-4847 info@magellangj.com

Building Blocks

October, 2004
Volume 7, Issue 3

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage“
~ Anais Nin

Courage is an interesting word. Often equated with “success” or “lack of fear,” courage is, in my vocabulary, rather the ability to take action despite fear, and knowing that not only might the result not be favorable, it might be pretty bad. Maturity and wisdom allow that even a bad consequence or failure ultimately expand one’s life anyway. And it is the pursuit of expansion that makes life juicy, more than the end in itself.

In my capacity as an Executive Coach and a Life Coach, I have the privilege of working with clients who are continually seeking expansion. The majority of these clients are already very successful, and a temptation could be to approach life from a “how do I preserve what I’ve got?” standpoint, rather than asking “what else might be possible for me – how do I keep growing?” Executives and owners of small businesses are typically self-driven, but because they operate with a great deal of independence, they often don’t have anyone to challenge them as to whether they’re operating at their top potential. A coach can help do that.

What kinds of things are we talking about here? Examples might include:

Stepping up for a leadership role (investing time, money, political and social capital) and being unsuccessful at either securing the role or executing it well.

Taking on a company turnaround (investing time and opportunity costs), where the risks might be huge, career-wise and financially.

Making an offer of love (investment of heart, vulnerability, ego) where you might be rejected.

Serving in the military, where the consequences might be fatal, period.

Is it possible to live your life or career below the radar screen? I think you can make choices that facilitate that, though life will always find you and present some challenges, even if you’ve tried to construct a totally “safe” path. Why not find life first?

How does courage expand life? By taking on new challenges, you keep learning – this is a source of satisfaction. It’s virtually impossible to courageously expand your life without bringing new people into your sphere, and attracting others who are on a similar quest. You find where your edge is, and set a new one, continually expanding the circle of who you are. You are adding people and experiences in your life, not trading old for new. Mistakes allow you to grow – often more rapidly than successes. Accepting some failure as a part of growth allows you to continue taking risk, rather than being so afraid of failure that you risk nothing. And you have no doubt about it – you are ALIVE!!

How does lack of courage shrink life? For every opportunity passed by, the circle that is you draws tighter. Not only does it not expand out, it becomes more rigid, letting less in (ideas, people, possibility). It amplifies fear. Fear becomes reality when it rules your decision. Life stays in more of a treadmill pattern. It’s safe, it’s moving, but it’s not really going anywhere. Your life, while less stressful, is decidedly not energizing. Lastly, boredom, repetition, and a flatter learning curve tend to be the results of trying too hard to “play it safe.”

A coach can help by having the client define probability vs. consequence for each situation. Having a coach as your objective sounding board can also reduce the emotion around a situation, aiding clarity.

A good coach will help the client dream what’s possible, design a plan to create it, and summon the courage to act upon it responsibly. A coach challenges the client to be more, and to identify and develop strengths. And - it’s harder to do things alone! Having a coach as a partner is especially effective for executives and business owners.

PRACTICES

Identify two areas where you could significantly expand your life, were you to summon the courage to take action. One major, one minor. Major could be a new market, new career, a physical move, getting married or getting divorced, etc. Minor could be ending a draining friendship, serving on a board or committee, taking a stand politically among your friends and community.
Ask yourself if you’re willing to be limited by letting this opportunity pass you by. If yes, you’re done here….if no, continue on!
In your mind, jump ahead to where you will be if you make it happen. See what it looks like, feel what it feels like.
Identify the 3 most pivotal actions you need to take to make the major area happen. Commit to taking one step toward each of these 3 actions this week. Repeat each week until you achieve a result.

Set a date by which you want the change in place. Don’t worry too much about being right here – just put your stake in the ground.
With respect to the smaller area – make it happen in the next month. This will give you confidence at practicing courage on a smaller scale, which will stand you in good stead when you tackle the bigger area.
Understand that regardless of whether you succeed or fail – you will succeed in expanding your world. That’s a good thing!

Remember that it’s not just about expanding you – look for ways you can support others in having the courage to expand their worlds, too. In this way you make life bigger for many, and that’s when the game get really gets fun!

Please recommend this E-Zine to anyone you know that is interested in getting more out of their career or their life (It's a good way to stay in touch with clients, too.)

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