Here is an easy exercise to keep you growing on a regular basis and help keep you honest with yourself.
One of my all-time favorite books is Leadership & Self-Deception, by The Arbinger Institute. I also like the sequel, The Anatomy of Peace. I read “LSD” at least once a year, and usually deliver a few workshops on it, as well. If I could have coaching clients read just one book, this would be it! I think it’s that important.
I designed this exercise to keep the concepts top-of-mind.
You’ll have much better awareness to do this exercise if you’ve read Leadership & Self-Deception, but you can still derive good value if you haven’t.
- Create a document on your computer titled, “Self-Deception.”
- At the top, type the question, “In What Ways Do I Deceive Myself?”
- Type today’s date.
- Create a stream of consciousness list of all the ways you’re deceiving, kidding, or BS-ing yourself.
- Hit “save” and save someplace easy to remember and access. 😁
- Do this once a week and note your progress.
- If you find yourself repeating an item or five for many weeks, create a plan to work on it. Or call me, and I’ll help you to create one.
Examples of self-deception:
- I’m an “open door leader” who creates safety in my organization (but no one brings up anything risky with me).
- My relationship is in great shape (and we don’t seem to talk about anything of substance or grow each other).
- I care about fitness (and I’ve worked out 3 times in the past month).
- I’m better at XYZ than these other people (and I don’t really fully understand their strengths and weaknesses).
If you’re not one of the 20+million people who have watched Brene Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability, check it out here.
Brene’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection, is another winner. A researcher, this is her project on Living a Wholehearted Life. Who doesn’t want that?!
Lastly, as we near the end of Q1, check in on your goals for the year – have you moved the needle? Are you efforts aligned with your goals? Let me know how I can help.